Are you a Cablasian now? (It’s not about Race when you fall from Grace!)

I’m Just Asking A Question!

Are you a Cablasian now? (It’s not about Race when you fall from Grace!)

December 9, 2009

Tiger Woods and Andre Agassi have something in common these days. Their pedestals are in need of repair.

Andre Agassi, the former professional tennis player in his recent book, “Open” admitted to using Crystal Methamphetamine during a dark period during his playing career. In the eyes of many tennis fans, current and former players, and members of the media, Andre’s admission of drug use, along with several other revealing admissions in the book warranted a fall from grace. The pedestal for Agassi was as shattered and broken as he probably was during his days of using “ice.”

The pedestal for Tiger Woods is teetering these days also. Tiger is alleged to have had over 10 mistresses over the last several years. The number is growing like a body count after a natural disaster. Elin, Tiger Woods’ wife, will probably shatter his pedestal with a golf club just as she did the back window of Tiger’s Escalade during Thanksgiving holiday.

Is anyone feeling sorry for Nike these days?

Several months ago any conversation about Tiger Woods or Andre Agassi would have had a much different tone than today’s discussion. Fortunately for Andre, his humanitarian efforts, ambassadorship for tennis, establishment of a charter school for disadvantaged youth in Las Vegas and his stable marriage and family life will keep him out of the tabloids. Tiger on the other hand has become fodder for comedians, bloggers, news outlets, talk radio hosts, and anyone who has a public forum for an opinion.

Tiger Woods is the new joke of the day, but there is nothing about his situation that is funny. I am beginning to hear the rumblings like thunder announcing the onset of the rain of the usual suspects from the African American intelligentsia and “voices” of Black America. You know who they are:

Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton, Cornel West, Michael Eric Dyson, Jim Brown, Spike Lee, Henry Louis Gates, Harry Belafonte, Hilary Clinton (I’m just checking to make sure you are paying attention.) , etc.

If statements about Tiger and his situation have not been made by any of the above named individuals, stay on the lookout. They are coming. Some of them may have this tone.

Tiger does not know his roots. Since his father has passed, he no longer feels it necessary to identify with his Blackness. His marriage to Elin manifested his self-hatred for his people. If Tiger would be true to himself and his roots, he would not have allowed himself to get involved with women of other races. Unfortunately, his self-hatred means that he must appeal to those outside of his race to gain acceptance. He does not understand the damage he is creating for his children. He will be known as another Black man who turned his back – a “sellout” a modern day “Uncle Tom”. Thus, he has no real identity. He can not relate to Black women, because he does not know what it is like to be around a strong Black woman. Why would he? His father did not.

He can not relate to Black men. Where is his street “cred” (credibility)? He can not relate to women in general. He is now known as an adulterer and philanderer. He can not relate to children. His is NOT a role model. He can not relate to older people. Many of them have waited for him to fall anyway. Who is left?

There may also be the conspiracy theorists. I’m looking for the next Spike Lee project proclaiming that all of the women Tiger Woods bedded down were plants by White America to sabotage Tiger’s golf game. Or, Louis Farrakhan to remind us that if the government can blow up the levees during Hurricane Katrina, the government can certainly arrange a proliferation of skanks for Tiger Woods’ pleasure.

We’ll just conveniently forget that Tiger made choices during his escapades.

My attempt to get inside the heads of the African American intelligentsia and conspiracy theorists may not be completely accurate. But, I honestly don’t think I am that far off base. The question of the validity of interracial relationships and the impact on marriage and committed relationships will likely always be a question in America. Whenever something happens, particularly in a high profile situation involving an African-American male, his choice of mate will be questioned. This was true in the early 1900’s with Jack Johnson, the former heavyweight boxing champion and it is true today with Tiger, Kobe, Lamar Odom, and O.J. Simpson just to name a few.

The underlying assumption implied by many African-Americans, particularly African-American women when an interracial relationship is questioned is that the male would not have been in the situation if the female was also African-American. Some might even call it “punishment” for being involved with a White woman.

I think that the notion that Tiger is being punished for marriage to a white female is sad, but I also believe that some folks believe that is true. I think that is equally sad.

Unrecognized to a great extent by the mass media, I believe there have always been two distinct Tiger Woods personas. This is due to his bi-racial makeup. Today the media is concentrating on the Jekyll and Hyde aspect of Tiger regarding his sexual escapades. However, Tiger has a duality that has always existed and just like President Obama, his bi-racial makeup is not a focal point in the media today. The fact that Tiger’s father is no longer living may have something to do with that. I have never quite understood how a person who is bi-racial is classified as “Black” or “White” for that matter. But, that‘s just me I suppose. If I take 50% of something and you tell me that it is actually represented by the “other” 50%, I am probably wondering if you rode the short bus to school.

If I mix equal amounts of vanilla and chocolate ice cream, the result is not chocolate ice cream. Neither is the result vanilla ice cream. You get the picture.

Sometimes I think America is like vanilla and chocolate ice cream. Other flavors do exist and I am not denying that. But, terms like “Black America” and “White America” are still used. I am waiting for “Hispanic America” or “Asian America” to be introduced into the lexicon of everyday discussion. I prefer America, but for the sake of this discourse, Black America has never fully embraced Tiger Woods and neither has White America.

One might wonder how can one of the most visible figures in the world really be a modern day “Invisible Man” (with all due respect to Ralph Ellison)?

I believe this is because the identity that we have come to know as Tiger Woods is not really the person we see. We can thank Nike and Tiger’s public relations team for that. Tiger is dealing with the reality of that now. Who is Tiger Woods really? He will have to work to figure that out in the next several months and years to come.

Throughout his career there has been talk about his self-identification (Cablasian: Black, White, and Asian according to the Urban Dictionary), his intensity and will to win, his place in golf history, and his dominance of a sport that historically had been dominated by white males. Regardless of your views on race, Tiger is someone who provoked thought and discussion on either side of the fence. Many African Americans embraced him, some disdained him, and others could care less. I don’t really have a perspective on what the general consensus might be amongst Whites or Asians, but I have always wanted to believe that what he did on the golf course is what mattered and what people appreciated. I am not talking about Dr. King’s references to “content of character”. We know that is under scrutiny today. But, what Tiger has accomplished on the golf course is not what is at issue today.

I don’t believe race is a factor in Tiger’s current situation. That may sound naive, but I was always taught that “people are people”. I thank my mother for that. Unfortunately, we live in a society where race does matter and it will be part of the discussion whether you want it to or not.

Race is a factor in some situations. However, I am not one who will always categorically look at race in any situation. Many folks in our society would disagree with me. I know. I have spent time in Mississippi. Some places will have you think that race is ALWAYS part of the discussion.

Today’s water cooler discussion about Tiger Woods will likely include race, sex, relationships, morality, money, corporate America, history, and family values. It will probably not include the shame and disgrace it has brought to his mother. That is another story. I have to believe she is hurting. If her Thai roots represent anything near what I know of the Asian culture, the shame and disgrace of Tiger’s public fall from grace must be tearing her apart.

Sports can help you escape, albeit briefly, some of the harsh realities of life. But sports figures can not escape the harsh realities of life. Tiger can’t run to the golf course these days. He will not even leave the house. This can only last for so long.

Tiger’s fall from grace has nothing to do with his race. It has everything to do with the choices he has made. Sport has an element of purity in it. If you perform well, your race does not matter. I am reminded of this transcendent element of sports when I think about Adolf Hitler, who had to witness firsthand Jesse Owens winning four gold medals in track during the 1936 Olympic Games in Berlin. This history is forgotten, however during the casual office conversations when race is front and center. Then, there is the other factor – the female factor. Women are talking about Tiger Woods these days also and it has nothing to do with golf.

How many women do you suppose secretly wish they could get in on the lottery ticket that is now known as “a relationship (with proof) with Tiger Woods”?

How many women do you suppose are proclaiming they would have waited for him to get in the shower and pour hot grits over him? (Sorry, Al Green, I could not help that one.)

How many women do you suppose are collecting their husbands’ cell phones and looking for phone numbers?

Some men may not care, or even worse, may be silently cheering Tiger on for his conquests. Women are probably circling the wagons and bashing Tiger along with the rest of the male population who can’t turn down anything except their collars.

How many men are now on guard and blaming Tiger for a heightened terror alert? If you thought you were on lockdown before in your relationship, think about the new scrutiny you will come under if you hint at Tiger just being “human.”

I am not envying married men these days.

Unless Tiger Woods is coated with Teflon, he is in a very sticky situation and the likelihood of him extracting himself unscathed at this point is akin to believing that the Earth is flat.

If there is anyone out there in the free world who believes Tiger will not suffer greatly (emotionally, mentally, and financially) from his circumstances, because we KNOW he has suffered physically, I want to know who they are. That person can give me some good stock tips and lottery numbers.

Tiger is in a free fall and the parachute may not be packed. I’m hearing the thud!

Several days ago, I mentioned that things would probably get worse before they got better. I was not certain at the time how true that would become. What I knew is that anytime there is self-imposed silence, the explanation that follows is never good enough to mitigate the damage of the transgression. Sometimes it is worse to look guilty, which is what happens in the absence of an explanation, than to actually be guilty. Unfortunately, Tiger looks like he is guilty and he may well be. If nothing else, he is guilty of very bad judgment in his situation.

Where do you start?

I don’t intend this to be a morality rant. I am not casting the first stone. By the time I consider it, there may already be thousands of stones cast. The fact is that we all have made mistakes in our lives and done some things we would not repeat or divulge to our closest friends or relatives. I’m not coated with Teflon and I am not rushing to run for a political office either. Fortunately, I don’t have to deal with my transgressions in public. Plus, I don’t think I will have a mini van load of women coming out of nowhere seemingly proclaiming my involvement in episodes of “That’s Amore”. I am no longer youthful, good looking, or a celebrity by any stretch. Some say I do resemble Tupac, but he’s long gone, and I certainly don’t have a bank account that comes anywhere close to Mr. Woods. I consider it a blessing that I am the epitome of the anti-Tiger Woods. I’m the same guy who did not own a car in high school. I considered that a blessing too after I got older. What is my point?

This situation could have happened to any man given the same set of circumstances.

I would challenge any man to remain faithful if he were put in the same circumstances that Tiger Woods has been faced with throughout his adult life, particularly during the last several years of marriage. I am not declaring that he could not remain faithful, but human nature is not on his side. The power to resist temptation has to come from a source outside of mortal man. Man can not resist based on his own willpower. Any power to remain faithful with women constantly pursuing you, or you have the means to pursue them, is not within the willpower of an ordinary man. Many men of power have fallen to the temptation and allure of the opposite sex, whether in the pulpit or in the President’s office. It is nothing new. Whether it is the story of David and Bathsheba in the Bible or Monica Lewinsky and former President Bill Clinton, you show me a situation where sexual temptation is presented and I will show you a situation where all power is forsaken for the pursuit of pleasure. This is not to condone anything Tiger is alleged to have done. As I stated, Tiger did have to make choices.

Being knocked off the pedestal is a lot different than jumping off the pedestal.

He knows the truth of his situation. If he has committed adultery and broken his marriage vows, he will have to deal with that. The point I am making is simply that I understand human nature a little better now and I don’t underestimate anyone given the right, or in this case, wrong circumstances.

Human frailty is what it is.

Gatorade recently dropped Tiger as a sponsor. The free fall is continuing.

O.J. is probably feeling sorry for Tiger at this point. Tiger has not been accused of killing anyone, but the carnage he is alleged to have created from his numerous affairs is beginning to pile up. When Tiger’s father nicknamed him, I am sure it was never intended to be a moniker to represent the conquering of “Cougars in waiting”, former porn stars, and waitresses wanting to be “Real Housewives” when they grow up. Tiger should be called “Lion”, as he is becoming the ultimate King of the Jungle and it has nothing to do with his golf game. The fall from grace appears to be swift like the downhill side of a rollercoaster and it is becoming difficult to keep up with the casualties along the way, including Tiger’s family.

Tiger’s fall from grace has nothing to do with his race and the fact that his alleged liaisons have involved women who are Caucasian. But, I am hearing the rumblings even as I write this piece. Remember the intelligentsia? The question I saw in a newsletter aimed at African-American readers posed it this way:

“Why Do Black Men Love White Women?”

The question presumes that all Black men love White women. Further, it inflames the racial aspect of relationships because it poses the “why” question as if there is something peculiar about the possibility. As I have often stated, when one has to answer the “why” question, one is immediately put on the defensive.

Is there something wrong with interracial relationships?

No.

Is there something wrong with adulterous relationships?

Yes.

Tiger knows the answers to both of those questions. I think many of us know the answers too.

Is Tiger a Cablasian? I don’t know. All I know is that Tiger is a human who has made some bad choices. Join the club. His fall from grace has nothing to do with race, just as his rise on the pedestal had nothing to do with race.

I like the way my mother expressed it the other day when I told her that things could be worse and that she could be Tiger Woods’ mother on this day. This is what she wrote:

“I would still love him and forgive him. Jesus forgive (sic) us when we mess up bigtime. Tiger will get it together.”

Tiger will get it together, but it will only be when he demonstrates contrition, asks forgiveness, and chooses to do better when faced with the same circumstances in the future.

Grace does not have to cost millions of dollars. True grace is free.

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“It is calming to know that when the final trumpet sounds,

My life will not have ended in vain.

I will run out of time before I run out of words. God has given me the gift of my thoughts.

He has given me the gift of the pen.

I need to use them both to show His will does win….” 1

(1) Excerpt from the poem “ The Things That Matter” –

Included in Voices Inside My Head – Poetry Inspired By God To Heal Pain